All posts by redskiez

drinking coffee

Even I’m annoyed by my case of social anxiety.

It’s not all my fault, though. Yeah, sure, pushing the blame on someone else sounds like the worst thing to do, but it’s the only logical thing I can think of.

I’m not the most courageous person I know. I can only have enough guts to do anything when I’m with a friend or someone I know. I don’t like doing anything alone unless it’s something that can be done on your own (aka writing on the computer). I loathe human interaction. I would rather you kill me than have me walk up or call a stranger to do normal adult stuff.

Continue reading drinking coffee

i’ll be gone

Nah, the title’s misleading.

It seems like I’ve given up on adding photos to my posts. I’d like to have you know that I’m way too lazy to do a quick Google search or even to download a free stock image from a free stock image storage website and upload it here.

Someday, I’ll be too lazy to even breathe and die right there in my bed.

That’d be nice.

Got to say something about life, though.

Continue reading i’ll be gone

keep what you love

It’s nearly a year since I’ve started this blog and I’ve only managed to put five entries in. Kind of tells you how boring my life is, really. I don’t have much to talk about because nothing I say is really note-worthy.

That, or I’m just really happy all the time and there’s nothing I need to say in excess – unless it’s something I’m really passionate about. Unfortunately, most of the things I’m passionate about are the things I feel negative towards.

Continue reading keep what you love

i’m sure there’s nothing pure here

It’s been a very, very long time since I last wrote a blog entry — there’s no excuse, I’ve just not been doing it for some reason.

There’s little reason for me to share my life here, public on the Internet like this, but here I am. Maybe I’d keep more personal things out of these posts and put them in my physical diary. Continue reading i’m sure there’s nothing pure here

eat, sleep and breathe that you’re full of the stuff

I never understand the reason why people find it necessary to do the exact opposite of what you want them, or kindly requested them, to do.

I came out on Facebook, and yes, I know it’s probably not the best choice since you would want to explain any confusions they might have face-to-face and you can’t do that over text, it’s the only way I can find that helps me. Continue reading eat, sleep and breathe that you’re full of the stuff

it’s a wide ocean and a tight emotion

I suppose this is a place as any to start mentioning how I feel recently about my gender identity and how others are coping.

No, I’m not completely out yet, so I don’t suppose others would suddenly start referring me as Jordan and be fine with it, no questions asked. But I have been dropping enough hints for people — those who have a shred of respect left in the humanity tattered body of theirs — to start referring me as male.

Unfortunately, there aren’t actually that many people. And even within the people who are willing to, they don’t seem to actively do it.

Continue reading it’s a wide ocean and a tight emotion

one two three, one two three, drink

My grades aren’t really looking up as they should.

Surely, they are better than before? I don’t really know. I’m not doing terribly as I thought I’d be. My grades in English Literature aren’t bad but they aren’t as good as I wanted. Somehow I slipped up during the exams and ended up with the lowest grade in the class of six people.

That’s a real embarrassment. Continue reading one two three, one two three, drink